no_ufo_ending | Call Henry's Poke"gear!

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Henry, where did you find this thing?

[Envy's holding his new army knife up to the camera. Every single one of the attachments is pulled out. Guess who's never seen one of these before? Envy grins widely.]

Thanks.

_{[Envy would be greeted by a very dark broadcast. Henry is tucked away inside his ages 5+ Ogre Tent that Heather got for him. The glow of his 'gear illuminates his grinning face.]}

Found it in a little shop here. I thought it would be good for if we ever get trapped in...in that weird place again.

I'm going to be using this thing if I ever get trapped anywhere again.

...Where are you? [Is that a tent?]

_{[Henry breaks into a goofy, Totoro-esque grin.]}

I have my own darkroom. I'm a real photographer now. AH!

_{[Henry's amazing fort is suddenly invaded by a fat, angry Glameow chasing a shiny Venonat with what looks like a sparkly toy ball in its mouth.]}

You guys! Out!

[Envy's laughing, too much to say anything else at first.]

Maybe you should find a way to put a lock on your darkroom.

_{[Once the merry-go-round of purple animals is gone, Henry huffs and pulls his tent flap closed WITH FORCE.]}

Yeah, maybe. Merry Christmas, man. Here's to another, yeah?

Yeah, and a lot more after that. Merry Christmas.

[Then Envy remembers something, and smirks.]

Did you wind up sending those cards?

[WAS THERE A GOOD REACTION? HE WANTS TO KNOW.]

_{[Henry's usual bland expression changes from a tired smile to a full-on Grinch grin.]}

Yes. No reply just yet! He might not have checked his mail but I'm watching the 'gear like a hawk.

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Edited 2013-10-02 05:24 (UTC)

henry are you awake

there is some kind of screwed up monster in the woods

[Envy's a screwed up monster too but not of the smokescreen death scream variety. But Henry's fought that kind of monster before maybe he'll know what to do.]

what

i didnt have any dreams about that

yeah well, it still happened

last night, some creepy screaming thing was walking around in the rain, and there was fog with it. and there were stick bundles and feathers and claw marks or something in the ground in the morning. but it didn't sound like any pokemon I've heard.

did you guys stumble onto the set of the blair witch project or something?

the what?

its a movie
these kids go into the woods to film a documentary about a witch
they find all these weird markings and bundles of sticks

they all died

henry that is not reassuring

did they try beating the witch to death with sticks because that's all we've got out here

and the pokemon I guess but last time there were actual monsters they wouldn't fight them

oh

have you tried not camping

that doesn't help right NOW

oh

oh god you guys are still in the woods

sorry im half asleep

try having your pokemon make a lot of noise.

I just don't see what your issue is with being able to talk with a God, honestly.

[If this seems out of nowhere from a number Henry doesn't know, that's because it is. Oops. At least someone else is having 'Gear troubles.]

_{[Henry stops trying to take a photo of Cujo while he's ACTUALLY asleep and still for a change when the text pops up. He squints at it.]}

is this envys sister

No?

Oh. I think I got the wrong number. I'm sorry. Who is this?

its alright

im henry

are you envy's brother?

_{[HENRY WHY ARE YOU ASKING. YOU ALL LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE.]}

No, I'm not anyone's brother. My name is Red. Do you know Greed? I'm a friend of his.

I'm not Envy's mom, dad, cousin, or great-great-great grandmother either, before you ask.

[She's teasing, Henry.]

I do. We attacked everyone with water guns once

sorry. i have a history with mis-dials and wasnt sure if it was my friends sister getting me back. she thinks i do it on purpose

Edited 2014-11-08 01:23 (UTC)

If it makes you feel better, then it looks like you're not alone!

Anything interesting happen from all those misdials besides a friend's sister getting back at you?

just a lot of awkwardness

you dont like jigglypuffs do you

_{[IMPORTANT QUESTION.]}

I've been told I should get one, but that's it.

[???? Mysterious stranger, what are you getting at here.]

you were told a lie

avoid avoid avoid

Did you get mugged by one?

[She's pretty sure she's heard a story like that before...]

yes actually

...Wow. Why is something that looks cute apparently a mugger?

i wish i knew

dont underestimate them

dont let yourself be alone with them

they will steal your money

Can they even be beaten? I mean, we have other Pokemon, right?

[Jigglypuffs are starting to sound like an urban legend.]

nobody knows

they can probably even fly

...Seriously?

i wouldnt put it past them

You should write a book about the dangers of Jigglypuffs, you know. I feel like it would sell well.

maybe

the next top selling horror story

Why not? With how much I hear about these things, it's either going to be a horror story or an urban legend at this rate.

if i go ahead with it youll be the first person i tell

Remind me to tell you about the Battle of Oatmeal at some point.

_{[Henry stares at his gear. He stares at it. Has it really happened. Has somebody finally mis-dialed HIM? Usually the only people who text him are Heather and Envy. This is amazing. This is golden. He must snag this opportunity.]}

im not busy

Okay so basically we found out that the Yeerks could get addicted to instant maple and ginger oatmeal from a guy who tried to kill himself by jumping off a building. We were all in morph so we grabbed him and slowed him down and then he got thrown in a mental hospital. So yeah he had a Yeerk in him and told us this because it drove the Yeerk crazy but left the host alone mostly and so everyone got their parents to buy them a bunch of the stuff.

Then we couldn't get into the Yeerk Pool so we had to dig down and we morphed moles to do it and tunneled our way in and ended up in a bat cave but not the cool kind with gadgets. We morphed bats and flew in and some of us got caught but Rachel threw a bunch of oatmeal into the Yeerk Pool and then threw Visser Three in there so he let us go and then we got the hell out of there.

So it didn't really help much in the end but it was a Battle of Oatmeal.

_{[There is a long, LONG delay.]}

that is the most incredible thing i have ever read

whats a yeerk

You...

... aren't Heather are you.

no this is henry

Then that all probably made absolutely no sense to you.

not really but it was exciting

who is this?

Tobias.

And yeah all that really happened where I'm from. My life is weird even by this place's standards.

hi Tobias

i can understand life being weird my life was normal up until maybe a day or two before i wound up here

i wish oatmeal was useful against the monsters im used to

Yeah? I have a friend here who had to deal with monsters, too.

[He would name names but it's not his business to spread it around.]

same

we're actually from the same world but never met

- oh. You know her. I didn't want to say who since... privacy and all that.

But that's kind of cool.

_{[THE PIECES ARE FITTING TOGETHER.]}

oh youre heathers friend hi

its weird isnt it? most of the people i know who are from the same world already met. we're even from different times

Yeah if she's mentioned a birdboy it's probably me. Unless she knows some other birdboys that she's not telling me about.

Yeah that is pretty weird. But at least you met here, right? Since it sounds like your world isn't so great.

we did have one friend who was really into birds. i think all his pokemon were birds. his name was even crow.

thb i wouldnt mind staying here forever

I have a lot of birds but not all of them are birds. Just a good percentage.

I wouldn't mind either if my friends were here.

you never know when they could show up

_{[He decides not to mention that you never know when your ENEMIES will show up too.]}

[His enemies do not yet have max level murderbirds he'll be okay.]

Yeah I know. Some of them showed up during that weird weekend. I'm hoping next time they show up they'll stay.

ill keep my fingers crossed for you. id be lying if i didnt occasionally look for my neighbor to show up when new faces start to appear on the network

Yeah. Though most people here have been really nice. You get to just have a sort of normal life.

Relatively normal, I mean.

yeah

there's not much i would trade it for

Me either.

Other than flying again.

Good thing you can get close to flying here with our pokemon.

It's not really the same, though.

Is it really like how it is in dreams?

Sort of? It's a lot more work... but the wind rushing through your feathers feels great. It's like sticking your head out of a window in a car, except a truck isn't going to smack into you, bugs won't fly in your mouth, and your eyes don't tear up.

Wow. I never thought to ask anyone else if they were once able to fly. Thanks for telling me about it.

Yeah well... when I said birdboy I literally meant birdboy. I was a red-tailed hawk.

I guess I still am but kind of not. It's weird.

Woah. The only time I've ever been anything besides a human was during those Weird Weekends. At least the ones I remember.

So you're inside out?

Edited 2015-03-14 19:17 (UTC)

I was a human who got stuck as a hawk, and then I got the power to change back to human but not permanently unless I wanted to not be able to fight anymore.

I know it sounds super weird.

Don't worry. You can't weird me out.

I'm surprised how often that's the case here.

It makes making friends easier.

Pretty much. And I don't think anyone could really weird me out now either, so that's helpful.

I think the weirdest people here are the locals. Did you meet "MOM" when you first woke up?

Yeah. Yeah, I did. I got out of there pretty fast.

I also wonder about the teams the gym leaders use. Don't thier pokemon ever level up?

Maybe? I hear they have harder teams too, so maybe they have multiples?

That could be it. I try not to think about it too hard because it gives me a headache. I have one right now I think.

Go lie down?

I think I will. Things get weird when I remember this place is a video game in my world.

Yeah, one of my friends was playing it at home.

I remember playing the red one. Yowch. Okay. Not about to worry about somebody pushing the buttons. Laying down now. Nice talking to you.

Nice talking to you too, Henry.

DON'T READ THIS u will get kissed on the nearest possible wednesday by ur crush. Tomorrow will be the best day ever and u will catch a rare pokemon. HOWEVER IF U DONT FORWARD THIS TO AT LEAST 5 PEOPLE bad luck will rear it's ugly head at u!! THIS IS NOT A JOKE. There are consiquences for ignoring this, u will get chased by 50 beedrills and sprayed by a skuntank!!!!11!

**NOTE** The more people U send this to, the better luck you have!

P.S. I did not make this up, someone sent it to me so I am passing it on!

> ENCRYPTED ATTACHMENT: pory-con-invite.txt

is this envys sister

what? no

why would it be Lust? this is my gear.

oh
i thought it might be her since i keep messaging her by accident

really?

also where did you hear that she was my sister? did she say that?

[He'd automatically assumed that his sister couldn't be referring to anybody BUT Lust...but it had taken him longer to realize that this wasn't really something they'd spoken about.]

Yeah
you have a big family huh?

_{[HENRY IS KIND OF PICKING UP ON THIS THEME OF YOURS.]}

it's complicated

really it's just her and Gluttony that I'd call family from back home, maybe Greed now too I don't know

I get along okay with some of the others but they were just...like coworkers, I guess you'd call it. and some of the others I couldn't stand. none of us are blood related.

i met Greed during the watergun war. he was pretty cool.

cool for a complete moron maybe

he's good with people though, probably the best out of any of us

haha you guys really are brothers

anyway, i just thought your sister was getting back at me

_{[It's been a very long few days.]

[Henry's undoubtedly heard about where Heather went and WHY from the grapevine, but she didn't end up contacting him herself at any point. It's hard to find the time when you're dodging Teams RED and BLU and there's at least one Heavy on your tail at almost all times.]

[But she still feels BAD about it, and so when the beleaguered trio trudges back into the house, the first thing Heather seeks out is her adopted brother. She figures he won't be too hard to find. He's probably still in his sleeping bag.]}

Henry?

_{[And behold Henry, staring into the television that's playing some shitty infomercial that's come on after all the horror movies went off during the night, robotically putting gummy something-or-others into his mouth from the bag on his lap.]}

Hnnnn?

_{[If Envy hadn't mentioned Henry's text about buying those candies at one point, Heather might have assumed that Henry hadn't moved once since she left.]

[But she edges forward, shuffling her feet a little in the process.]}

M'.... sorry I left without saying anything...

I, uh... I brought you something.

_{[Bringing her hand out of her pocket, she holds out a single Pokeball.]}

Hnnnn-oh!

_{[He snaps back to the real world and blinks at Heather before giving her a small smile.]}

It's alright. I held down the fort...oh?

_{[That wasn't what he was expecting. He holds his hands out for the ball and turns it over a few times in his hands.]}

What is it?

_{[Once he's got the ball in his hands, she steps back again, folding her own behind her back.]}

It's a new one.

Open it and see.

_{[Henry wisley points the ball away from himself and presses the button.]

[In a flash of red light, the most FABULOUS 'mon to walk the earth appears on the middle of the bed. He shakes his ribbons out and turns in place before facing his new trainer.]

[Somewhere, Burger turns restlessly in his poke'ball.]}

Wow! It's, uh...really pink!

_{[The Sylveon takes this as a compliment and washes one long ear.]}

_{[When Henry fails to react with ABJECT HORROR or anything, Heather grins, rocking on her heels.]}

Yeah, after all the shit went down, they kind of... rained out of the sky?

But not as violently as those weird cats and dogs did.

Anyway, I figured I'd catch one for you...

What is it with this place and pokemon falling out of the sky?

_{[He timidly reaches out to pat the Fairy-type, unsure of how this one works yet. Luckily, it leans into the attention and chirps.]}

...It's really nice! Oh--no! No, stop!

_{[The Sylveon climbs into Henry's lap and plants its pink ass right on his bag of fruit snacks. c8 ]}

Oh. Okay then. I guess you can have those.

_{[... Okay, she can't help but snicker.]}

Maybe you should name it Fruitsnack.

I'll think about it...are these...a part of you, little guy?

_{[Henry tugs dubiously at the FLESH RIBBONS dangling off of his new team member.]}

That's...sort of creepy.

Yeah, but he's colored like an Easter egg, though.

_{[Now that she's delivered the present, she stretches her arms and walks past Henry to flop down on the couch. It had been a loooooong few days and the exhaustion's catching up with her.]}

Heather, that doesn't stop it from being crepbleeebbll--

_{[At that moment, the Sylveon decides to stick his paw into Henry's mouth just because there might be more of those good-smelling snacks in there!]}

_{[Ignoring Henry's gargling, she reaches up and grabs the blanket draped over the back of the couch to pull it over herself. It's cold. :c]}

Yeah, well, I dunno, they rained from the sky and they were cute, so I got you one.

_{[Her words trail off into a yawn.]}

_{[The Sylveon looks at his empty paw and his ears fall. How disappointing. Oh, well. He totters along the bed to the brave girl who caught him after that very alarming fall from...GOD? It was unclear.]

[He promptly wipes his Henry-spit damp paw on Heather's face. There you go, dear. You had a smudge!]}

I think I'm going to like him.

Edited 2014-11-22 12:08 (UTC)

_{[... She re-opens one eye as the slimy paw is dragged down the side of her face.]

[... You know what? She's too tired to care.]}

He takes after you.

I should name him Henry or... Henry Jr. Yes. My son.

_{[Meanwhile the pink and blue critter is going to dab at Heather's bangs because they are dirty. Child, you are DIRTY. 8c How did you ever get so dirty?]}

_{[Hey YOU try running around dodging rockslides and tidal waves in a fight between TWO GODS and emerging without any dirt on you, Mr. Fleshribbons!]

[Heather makes a small noise of protest, tilting her head backwards and away from the invasive paws.]}

Mhmm. Henry, can you stop your son from playing patty-cake with my face?

_{[Henry finally listens to her and reaches out to pick up the critter around the middle. He dangles placidly and arches his neck. Oh, are we going somewhere?]}

Come, my son. I need to see which of my pokemon to keep you separated from because you don't seem to have any immediate damning qualities and the rest of them...do.

Heather, let me know if you need anything.

Mmkay.

Just wake me up if somebody makes lunch at any point, I want some.

_{[She scrubs her face with one hand and then promptly buries it in a pillow.]}

henry come outside quick that really fat pidove is back

oh shit

_{[Henry quickly appears outside but makes sure not to slam the door least he frighten the legendary Stanley away.]}

Envy?

[Envy waves him over to where he's crouched behind one of the bushes near the back door. When he talks, it's a whisper that's as loud as he dares make it. Because it would suck if he scared Stanley away before Henry even got over there.]

Over here!

_{[Henry quickly falls into stealth mode which is practically his default mode because he's Henry and slips up beside Envy.]}

Location?

[Envy gestures for Henry to look through the bush, on the edges where the leaves are thinner.]

Edge of the pool, near the diving board.

[And sure enough, there's an incredibly fat Pidove sitting there, pecking at the ground like it's found some scattered crumbs...probably someone dropped bits of Pokepuff when they were giving treats to the Sharpedos.]

_{[Henry nods knowingly. It was their time. It was THE time. It was time to catch Fat Stanley.]}

I'm going to get the salt. Update me if the target moves.

_{[And he's gone again for a few minutes.]}

[Envy turns to him and blinks. Salt? What would they need salt for?]

[Is it for bait? Is Henry planning to eat Stanley?]

[He's just going to wait and see what happens. So he just nods in utter seriousness.]

Got it.

[You go get that salt, Henry. Envy sends out a quick text when Stanley does actually relocate to the base of a tree even closer to the bush.]

target moved closer, be sneaky coming outside

_{[And soon he returns with NOT THE TABLE SALT. NO. THE WHOLE CANISTER. Henry ducks low and manages to move back into position without spooking the target.]}

If we sprinkle this on his tail, he can't fly away...not that I'm sure he can actually fly to begin with.

[...HENRY, WHAT.]

What would putting salt on his tail do?

[Of all the reasons Envy had considered for Henry needing the salt, that one did not even begin to cross his mind.]

I don't know but it's something my grandfather always said.

_{[He tugs a few crumbled Dodtritos out of his pocket because a man has to be prepared and throws them over the bush to attract Fat Stanley's attention.]}

[Normally Envy doesn't think '...humans' so much anymore, especially not at his friends. But in this case he kind of can't help the thought crossing his mind.]

[The first part of Henry's plan works like a charm, though, and Fat Stanley notices those Dodritos the second they're on the ground. He bobs his head a few times, pleased with the awesome selection this yard apparently has, and hops on over to the crumbs to start devouring them.]

...okay, now's our chance. Try the salt thing, I'll be ready to jump out and grab him.

[EVEN IF HE SOUNDS PRETTY DUBIOUS ABOUT THE SALT THING.]

_{[A long arm pokes out of the bush, salt canister in-hand. Henry isn't fucking around here, it's all or nothing. None of that piddly little salt shaker business. Slowly. Sloooowly. He starts to tip the can and the salt sprinkles out. Then the lid falls off and ALL of it falls onto poor Fat Stanley in a cloud.]

[There is a lot of horrified coo-ing.]}

GRAB HIM!

[Envy LEAPS out from behind the bush, arms outstretched to grab poor unfortunate Fat Stanley.]

[But the bird is actually much faster than his build would suggest...and the salt did nothing but startle him even MORE.]

[He takes off in an explosion of flapping and feathers, leaving Envy to faceplant in the dirt, arms still outstretched and one hand gripping a lone tailfeather. But now is no time to just lie there, they've got a bird to catch, and Stanley is flying more horizontally than vertically. There's still a chance!]

[Envy shoves himself up to scramblerun after the Pidove.]

Stanleeeey! Come back.

_{[Henry sees that it's now up to him and leaps over the fallen homunculus like a deer.]

[Or he would have if Envy hadn't decided to get up right then. He face-plants, tangled up in Envy's limbs.]}

[Al showed up a little bit after Henry contacted him over the network about the eggs, taking care of a trip to the Pidgey Post Office before heading over to the homunculii's house. He'd been let in, and chatted a bit with Lust before being directed to the living room to find his customer. Al peeks in, smiling a bit when he spots who he assumes to be Henry--he'd only seen him a few times, mostly over the Gear, but there's not many ohter people this could be.]

Hi, Henry?

[Following Al into the room is a pair of Meowstic, who keep a little bit behind him for now.]

_{[AND LO! IT IS HE-- the shaggy, perpetually sleepy looking recluse. Henry glances up from his gear, some puzzle game, and gives Al a shy wave. His Leafeon and Sylveon are laying on either side of him watching TV and four ears stand up when the unfamiliar pokemon enter. Cheerios wants to play. Prince wants to FORCEFULLY GROOM THEM.]}

Hey...

[Al grins and walks into the room, setting down his bag near one of the sofas and reaching into it as he talks. Jack and Jill stare at the other two Pokemon, slowly tilting their heads in unison.]

I brought over your egg--you don't need to pay right now, I just wanted to be sure I got it to you before I leave town tomorrow.

Oh--that was fast. Thanks a lot.

_{[He stands and wanders over, obviously interested in his newest mon-to-bee.]}

Does it need special care?

It's no problem.

[Alphonse hands Henry the egg, careful as he handles it.]

The only thing I would say is to make sure it gets plenty of time in the water. They can sort of get around on land, but it's very difficult. They're small when they first hatch, but Bentley at least grew super fast.

_{[He takes the egg carefully and hmmmmms to himself. He doesn't have any water-types besides Clam.]}

How...small is small exactly? Our bathtub's only so big.

_{[Luckily, they were near the sea!]}

[...um...]

Um...well, a bathtub might hold him the first week, but the pool should be big enough if the Sharpedo aren't going to be territorial.

I'll have to ask about that.

_{[Honestly, Henry was sort of scared of the chompy duo but maybe he could ask his roomies to recall them sometimes so his pokemon could stretch its fins.]}

It's been a while since I've had a Pokemon egg where I knew what was going to come out of it.

[This isn't the first time Scar has sneaked into Shark House unannounced.

One would think that he learned his lesson last time; Lust had been furious, but teaching old dogs not to break and enter private property is a tall order.

He's currently in the kitchen and under the assumption that Lust is the only person home, poking in the fridge for something to snack on while he waits.]

_{[One would think that. Especially when one of the residents tended to hide like a stressed out shelter cat when anyone new showed up. Henry had been quietly reading in his Ogre Hut (a ridiculously small children's play tent from the Orange Islands) when he heard the fridge open.]

[...]

[Heather was out training. Envy was out having...problems...Lust was gone when he woke up. A dark-ringed eye peers through the cheap plastic flap of the Ogre hut. Around the edge of the kitchen door he sees it. A towering, Frankenstein-esque shape. And it is none of his housemates.]

[Oh fuck. Oh. Fuck.]

[The entire Ogre Hut lifts on a pair of skinny legs and shuffles out of the living room and down the hall. Quiet as death. But it is not gone for long, for the Ogre Hut returns and advances toward Scar's back. Inside, Henry has traded his book for a cruel, twisted weapon he's kept with him for many a year now: the Fry Basket from his first job.]

[It protected him from the bugs. It protected him from the evil exploding pine cones of doom. It protected him from Slightly. And now, with its handle nearly snapped in two, it would protect the entire household.]

[There is a scream. It is the scream of a god-killer.]}

[Scar whirls around with with the speed of a honed killer when Henry not-so-subtly makes his presence known. His arm swings down and snaps toward Henry's wrist with bruising force, aiming to disarm the poor soul who has just witnessed a giant digging through his kitchen.

He's not exactly being careful for Henry's safety; the fact that this is the strange Banana Man who apparently eats berries for fun has yet to register. It's all war-honed instinct, right now.]

_{[Henry is used to killing monsters. Monsters. Horrible, eyeless fleshy things that stumble through dark passes on claws and stumps and enormous scary man hands.]

[Scar is a people. So he manages to catch the recluse's wrist with ease. The pressure makes him drop the basket and let out a loud croak of pain. It's then that he notices the big X across the man's face.]

[Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no.]

[If only it were a monster.]}

I--I--

Edited 2015-05-07 22:23 (UTC)

[Clarity dawns on Scar's stony face after a moment.

And then it dawns on him that he doesn't actually know the strange reclusive man living in the homunculi's house as anything other than-]

Banana Man.

[Scar's tense posture eases, but that doesn't do a whole lot for the giant factor.]

I'm sorry, I-- I thought--

_{[Henry's face loses its color as literal years of being socialized come crashing down around his ears. This interaction had landed him in the Done Zone SO fast. He can't believe he nearly beaned one of his housemates' friends. That he'd try to bean anybody in this peaceful world. Who was just standing at the fridge.]

[His socks start slipping on the tile as he tries to backpedal. Boy his wrist hurts.]}

Edited 2015-05-07 22:49 (UTC)

I did not think anyone was home.

[Anyone but Lust, for that matter. Scar is still stony-faced as ever when he says-]

I apologize.

[He turns back to the fridge, this time opening up the freezer to find a bag of frozen peas for Henry's wrist.]

Me...neither.

_{[The color is returning to his face, though now it's scarlet. He feels like such an asshole. He wants to melt through the floor like one of those horrible ghosts back in the Otherworld and never return. Ow his wrist.]

[He gingerly reaches down to collect his weapon, still whole and able to fight another day. Perhaps against a real threat.]}

[Scar removes a bag from the freezer and reaches for a paper towel, wrapping it before offering it to Henry. He glances down at the other man's weapon of choice with a cynical frown.]

You ought to at least be using something sharp.

[SCAR MAYBE HE DOESN'T WANT TO KILL ANYONE.]

_{[He puts the basket on the counter and takes the peas obediently.]}

I'm...going to go. Okay bye.

_{[Henry proceeds to crab shuffle sideways out of the kitchen and around the corner and down the hall where NOBODY WILL EVER SEE HIM EVER EVER AGAIN oh holy fuck he will never hear the end of this.]}

Edited 2015-05-07 23:09 (UTC)

[Scar only stares in mild bewilderment as Henry flees the scene.]

Good bye...

[Luckily for Henry, Scar doesn't plan to tell anyone.]

Did you know?

A group of hares is called a husk.

Dreamt is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".

Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from blowing sand.

Elephants have the longest pregnancy in the animal kingdom at 22 months.

_{[???????????]

[This? This is karma.]}

im disappointed a group of hares isnt called a toupee

I know, it's really disappointing. But the fact that a group of crows is a 'murder' is pretty cool.

I'm sitting around waiting for show time so I'm bored.

im so honored

what show are you seeing?

I'm not seeing it, I'm in it. It's the circus' show.

oh wow what do you do? do you have an animal act?

_{[IT'S THE ONLY THING HE CAN THINK OF.]}

Pretty much. It's kind of an air show thing. You know how Falkner has an air show in Violet? Like that but better.

[He will outdo the bird man, okay? It's a Thing.]

Edited 2015-05-15 19:24 (UTC)

break a leg!

I'll try not to fall on my face this time.

This time? is there a story attached?

Not really, it's just hard to practice on a bird's back without landing in the dirt a lot.

_{[He's actually a little disappointed! No aliens? No giant bees?]}

That's cool. You couldn't get me up there doing stunts. Riding on Frootloops is wild enough for me.

[Morphing is a magical healing thing, so. Yeah.]

Frootloops? Is he a toucan?

no he is a flying dinosaur that grows bananas out of his body

So where do the loops come from?

delicious cereal

So there's no actual loops in your Fruitloops, just bananas.

dont be a hater tobias

I'm not! I'm just wondering where the loops are!

[It is early in the morning. Very early. And all that can be seen is a Braviary's feathers and all that can be heard is terrified squawking.]

[Then there's a growl, and an Ursaring's paw comes down and picks up the camera, and points it at a sleeping Tobias. Regal hops over to him and nudges him with his beak, but he doesn't move. He doesn't even respond verbally.]

[The Braviary flaps his wings and screeches.]

_{[Woah, what's this? His 'gear is blowin' up with some frantic looking feathered and furry friends. Henry is no stranger to Pokemon posing and sharing candid videos. He tilts his head and tries to puzzle out the meaning of the message.]

[Then it clicks. Oh. Oh, no. It's one of those naps.]}

Don't worry, I'm on it.

_{[And by 'on it' he means going to Heather and making distressed sounds.]}

_{[It's ass o'clock and normally there's still plenty of people or 'mons out and about to play with, but for some reason tonight there is NOBODY. And that's TERRIBLE. :(]

[A pair of coffee-colored, donut-shaped ears pop up over the corner of Henry's bag, followed by a big cinnabar nose and two wild I've-been-running-up-and-down-the-halls kitten eyes.]

[THE MIGHTY PREDATOR STALKS HER PREY ACROSS THE SERENGETI...]}

_{[The lone resident of the Thought Cocoon suspects nothing, naturally. There are a few dozy pokemon around him too, as Cheerios sleeps and drools all over the 'gear that he and Abe were recently taking turns playing with one of those 'for pokemon' things moving around on the screen games.]}

_{[The Litleo's eyes squint devilishly, and then disappear as her head lowers to the floor and her rump shoots up in the air. Where it wiggles once... twice... three times...]

[And then about fifteen pounds of lion cub comes straight down on the middle of the lump in the sleeping bag.]}

_{[Henry sits bolt upright with a loud OOF and the only thing stopping him from grabbing the little critter up by her tail and hurling her across the room thanks to his Survival Horror Protag Relfexes is the fact that his arms are pinned to his side by his sleeping bag.]

[He blinks groggily down at the happy cub on his lap and then sags.]}

Uuuugh, Scarlet. What is Heather feeding you?

_{[The answer is almost everything. She's even worse than Cujo about begging.]

[When Henry comes launching into a sitting position, Scarlet tumbles into his lap and beeps happily, putting her paws up on his chest.]

[8] YOU ARE HER PREY. SHE HAS CAPTURED YOU.]}

_{[Henry groans. He is a wounded Sawsbuck. He is dying. Help. He can't resist bringng a hand under her jaw and giving her a scratch.]}

You're a horrible animal...

_{[His gaze drifts beyond her to his two goofballs dozing with his 'gear and running its battery down. He nudges Cheerios with his foot and causes him to roll over. Abe topples off of his shoulders and lets out an unhappy chitter.]}

You two nightowls need to keep Scarlet occupied. I have to meet with somebody about getting my photos in a magazine tomorrow morning.

_{[She explodes into purring instantly, rubbing her head on Henry's hand like she has five seconds to get her scent all over him before the world ends.]

[Naturally, she makes a sad chirrup when she is foisted off on Cheerios and Abe, but THEY'RE HER FRIENDS TOO so whatever, she will make the best of this situation! HELLO FRIENDS. 83]}

_{[Naturally, Cheerios is pretty cheery to greet Scarlet. He is probably the happiest Pokemon in the house. Abe is slightly reluctant and picks up the 'gear in his little hands. It was his turn to use it after all.]}

Abe and I are gonna get the high score on Five Nights at Fantina's! Wanna help?

_{[Scarlet and Cheerios are probably already best buds.]

[Tail standing straight up, she shoves herself between them to get a better view of the screen.]}

Do I!

Okay, get ready, because it's about to get creppy in here. We're on night four! Ready, Abe?

As I'll ever be. Are you sure it isn't too scary for you, Scarlet?

_{[Abe is used to being the baby and now that he isn't he must make sure the Actual Babies are safe.]}

_{[Butt wiggling in the air, Scarlet tosses her tiny red mane. Or... well... tuft.]}

WHAT, pbbbtbtbb.

THIS gal can handle anything.

_{[Cheerios breaks into a grin. That's what he likes to hear! He taps the game and brings the screen to life. The spooky, empty gym reveals itself and the camera pans.]}

Are you absolutely sure? Because we would understand. We can always play another game if--

_{[Cheerios shoves a paw against the Venonat's mouth.]}

Ssshhhhhh, Abe! I have to listen! And lay off, Scar's cool! Aren't you? That's your new nickname by the way!

_{[Scarlet plops down on her belly, propping her face up with two disproportionately large paws.]}

SCAR... I like it. Sounds mysterious!

_{[Squinting her eyes, she mushes her cheeks up.]}

Mysteeeerious.

_{[Cheerios snickers at how excited the little cub is. So the game begins. All the spooky robot Pokemon seem to be at their posts. But they can't linger on one screen for too long!]}

Okay, Scar! Which room should we look into next?

_{[Scarlet taps her little pink toebeans on her mouth thoughtfully.]}

Hmm...

Check the kitchen and see if my homegirl Sandy is in there mixin' up some snack magic!

_{[The feed flips to the kitchen. The video is out but the sound of dishes rattling can be heard. Abe's antennae start twitching.]}

The party room! THE PARTY ROOM.

Relaaaaax. Scar's got this game.

Yeah! Video games are a combination of two of my favorite things... videos, and games! The only way they could be any better is if they also could put spoonfuls of peanut butter directly into your mouth.

But I need Trainer for that.

_{[... Well, now we know why she's been putting on so much weight. Heather take care of your Pokemon better.]}

Oooh that does sound nice...but where would they put the spoon on this thing?

_{[He turns the 'gear slightly. Suddenly, one of the animatronics pops up, filling the screen with static. Abe lets out a loud squeak of terror and rolls backwards.]}

You've killed us, Scarlet! We're dead! DEAD!

Hm, fair point...

Maybe instead of a spoon, there could be a peanut butter reservoir that shoots out globs of peanut butter that you can catch in your mou-- WAO!

_{[She springs backwards, legs stiff as poles and tail standing straight up, the little red tuft at the end poofing out into a pom-pom.]}

I knew this was a bad idea! I'm done!

_{[The little party pooper Venonat toddles away to settle down by Trainer's head where he slept and draw his little limbs and antenne into his body so that he looks like an upset Koosh Ball.]

[Cheerios watches after him before shaking his head and turns back to face Scarlet.]}

Don't worry about him! Wanna go again?

Aw, ABE! It wasn't THAT bad! The first-person player character is just resting!

_{[8c OH WELL.]

[She turns back to Cheerios, trying to perk back up.]}

Okay! We'll get it right THIS time.

_{[Cheerios beams and slicks back his ears in determination.]}

YEAH!

_{[The game returns and the Leafeon hunkers close to the gear. At the cub's every command he swaps the cameras, checks the lights, shuts the doors.]}

We're gonna make it...we're gonna do it, we're gonna do it!

_{[By the time the clock's hit 5AM, Scarlet is so tensed up that she's vibrating, both paws stuffed into her mouth to unsuccessfully muffle the high-pitched eeeeeeeeee noise she's making. IF SHE SAYS ANYTHING SHE MIGHT JINX IT...!]}

I did not realize that I had broken your wrist. I am sorry.

you didn't break it envy misunderstood

but you are in fact an asshole

I did not mean to hurt you.

[Not even saying anything to the asshole bit.]

[The video is just aimed down at a plate sitting on the table.]

[On that plate is a grilled cheese sandwich that is only a little bit messy and burnt.]

Hey. I think I've got it just about figured out.

_{[Is that...]

[IT IS!]}

Envy! That looks great! I think a person could eat that.

[AW YEAH. Envy is so proud of himself.]

[It better be good for a person to eat because it's going down to Wrath. But then again, maybe there's some leeway there.]

When you guys get back, I'll make you one.

[This time, it will be edible food!]

_{[Henry is nearly beaming--a real live expression!]}

I can't wait.

[Even better! Envy grins, genuinely, which he hasn't been doing very much lately. Too much drama.]

It'll be worth the wait. I'm going to get to be an accomplished chef while you're all gone.

[This is absolutely not going to happen.]

Did you guys get moving again?

[Now that they're not SNOWED IN.]

Yeah. I never want to leave civilization again. I've decided I hate nature.

[If it weren't for the trash goblin in their basement, Envy might have invited Henry to come back while Heather and Phoenix kept traveling. He misses having his buddies around.]

[But at the moment, they definitely can't come back to the house.]

I don't blame you...you're at least going to get to stay in a town at some point, though, right?

Yeah, we found a hotel. I'm never leaving this lobby. I'm going to marry this snack machine. You're invited.

Whaaat, you didn't let me meet the snack machine before you decided to marry it?

Henry, I'm wounded.

You weren't around.

[DRAMATIC SIGH.]

I guess you're right.

Hey.

Hey.

What if I catered your wedding.

...don't get carried away.

You can be something that could potentially poison numerous people.

You can be my best man instead.

_{[It's the dead of night.]

[Even the majority of the Pokemon are asleep by now, and those that aren't are on their way to being so.]

[The only sounds are the tick-tick-tick of the living room clock.]

[.... And the whip-whap-whip of the Poke-door to the kitchen flapping as Something enters the house.]}

_{[Henry has been in the Ogre Hut that is stationed in the corner of the living room since the sun went down. He's made the mistake of downloading a very addictive game from the network and has been thumbing away at it for hours.]

[He's not even aware that everyone else went to bed. He hears the little poke'flap announce something arriving, but thinks little of it.]

[For the moment.]}

_{[There's another moment or so of silence.]

[Then the sounds of tiny human feet smacking on the floor as something crosses the kitchen.]

[The cupboard door creaks as it's opened, and then thunks as it shuts.]}

_{[That...]

[Was not the sound of a Pokemon coming back indoors after doing its business. Henry was a good listener and had long since learned to recognize the unique rhythm of the household.]

[Something was afoot. A shaggy head pokes out of the Ogre Hut and he sees the very last seconds of the cabinet door closing.]}

Hm...

_{[Silently the photographer exits the Ogre Hut and creeps to the kitchen door to peer around the corner. Maybe it was Envy? He hoped it wasn't Scar. Again.]}

_{[No. It was not Envy.]

[Perched atop the counter-- next to the toaster, as a matter of fact, is a Shape.]

[It's honestly hard to make out in the darkness, especially for someone who's been sitting inside an Ogre Hut staring at a bright screen for several hours. But there are a few details that leap out, even in the gloom.]

[One is the big shaggy mane covering most of its body.]

[Another is the pale, clawlike hands that emerge from under the curtain of hair and clutch at the countertop.]

[The last is the sharp teeth glinting from the mass of shadows covering where a face would be.]

[It doesn't see Henry.]

[Because it's busy putting something into the toaster.]}

_{[Henry's heart nearly leaps out of his mouth when he sees the mobile bush of long dark hair crouching on the cabinets. The last time he encountered anything shaped like that, there was lots and lots of pain and screaming and a sword had been involved.]}

--!!

_{[A strangled Not Sound escapes him and he claps a hand over his mouth.]}

_{[The Not Sound makes the creature's head whip up, and although they aren't reflective (anymore), there is a distinct gleam where the thing's eyes should be as it stares straight at the distraught photographer.]

[For a couple of seconds that seem like an eternity, nothing happens-- then without a sound except for the thump of bony feet and hands on the floor, it turns and hops off the counter, skittering to the opposite doorway. Where it pauses and looks over its shaggy shoulder at Henry.]

[Then it starts up the stairs on all fours, stopping briefly halfway up to look at Henry again, before finally ascending into the shadows of the second floor.]

[The toast pops out of the toaster with a loud metallic twang.]}

Edited 2015-11-23 09:27 (UTC)

_{[Everything feels like it's happening slow motion from the moment the dull stove light catches Wrath's eyes to the moment where he has nearly disappeared up the stairs. It's happening. It's actually happening in his house. Again.]

[He has to do something! He has to consult his scrapbook or the library or something.]

[When the toast pops up, Henry's Not Sound finally completely escapes him in a hoarse yelp. He dashes back to the safety of the Ogre Hut.]

[The morning. He'll start work in the morning.]}

_{[Wrath has, all things considered, not had a ton of contact with the strange human that shared the house with his cohorts. Not that he's been avoiding Henry out of fear, per se, but they had had a pretty awkward introduction.]

[But Wrath also likes to be on the couch, and as he has discovered, the couch is USUALLY occupied by the human.]

[It has been occupied all morning long, and most of the afternoon.]

[Wrath wants a turn. :c]

[From his looking-spot hunkered by one of the couch-arms, he slowly puts one hand on the couch, staring at the man.]}

_{[Henry, meanwhile, is tapping away at a game on his 'gear and does not notice the pale hand. He hasn't been actively avoiding Wrath, but Henry really has no idea what to do with kids that live in the same house so he's just been giving him his space.]

[Cheerios notices though and chirps a greeting.]}

_{[A second hand joins the first.]

[And then a foot.]}

_{[Once the foot appears, Henry has to look up at the motion and that is where he meets the goblin child's gaze.]}

Um.

_{[When Henry turns to look, Wrath immediately freezes, his final leg outstretched behind him.]

[So for a good minute there, they'll just be staring at each other. And then, abruptly, Wrath draws his foot up behind him and tucks all limbs underneath himself to loaf there on the end of the couch as though he'd been there all along.]

[He's still staring.]}

_{[Stare stare stare.]

[Okay, his limbs are disappearing.]

[That gives him a shudder. Wrath is just the Little Prince of Unwated Flashbacks.]}

Can I help you?

_{[Wrath is a much FRESHER monster than any of the ones that Henry has gotten to know while in Johto.]

[They've all had time to bake.]}

You've been on the couch for a long time.

_{[That is quite the observation there young goblin prince. Henry can only blink.]}

I'm sorry?

_{[No reaction whatsoever.]

[Wrath just continues to stare. Expectantly.]}

_{[Henry returns the stare. Slowly his eyes drift around to see if any of the other monster people are nearby who could possibly translate this interaction for him.]

[They are not.]}

I like to sit?

_{[There is no one.]

[Henry is alone with the goblin, and his own thoughts.]}

I like to sit, too.

_{[Wrath has not blinked in awhile.]}

_{[Henry's mouth slowly becomes a grim, wobbly line. He is. Not sure about this.]

[Slowly, ever so slowly he gives Wrath the thumbs-up. Sitting bros?]}

_{[Wrath tilts his head slowly to the side when Henry offers the universal gesture of camaraderie.]}

... Oh!

That's a good thing.

_{[He knows that, because his team-mates over at the Rocket HQ usuallyd do it when missions go well.]}

_{[The corner of Henry's mouth twitches a little. Oh, good, he understands!]}

Yeah.

_{[He's still here.]}

Sssso...whacha. Whacha up to, Wrath?

_{[Wrath's reply sounds perfectly reasonable to him.]

[But to anybody else... it's downright ominous.]}

Waiting.

Fffffffor...?

For you to stop.

_{[... To stop sitting there and go somewhere else, that is.]}

_{[OH.]

[Well. Henry actually finds his brows furrowing a little. He isn't about to stop sitting any time soon. He'd claimed this sofa fair and square.]

[It's then that Townshend gets an idea. A wonderful terrible idea. He reaches down between himself and the sofa and pulls up a crinkly plastic bag full of Bergmints.]}

Here.

_{[He holds the bag out and tips it, expecting Wrath to either a) know to cup his hands or b) eat them off the floor because of course he would. Henry isn't fussed either way.]}

[Wrath's eyes widen.]

[He knows how to put his hands out for offerings, but he doesn't really get what Henry is doing until the mints kind of go all over the place.]

[But he now knows candy when he sees it, so his IMMEDIATE RESPONSE is to dive off the couch and start grabbing up all the Bergmints with his horrible little goblin hands. And then shovel them into his mouth by the handful.]

--OH! Cold!

_{[Henry takes this opportunity to haul both legs up onto the sofa and occupy AS MUCH OF IT AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE.]}

Good?

_{[It's probably a good thing that Henry was eating Bergmites and not their grownup cousin Avaltoids, because if it had been the latter Wrath had his mouth crammed full of, he'd be foaming like a rabid raccoon right about now.]

[As it is, having about fifteen mints stuffed in there is still a bit MUCH for someone who's never had so much as a hotel-room peppermint, and Wrath's eyes are watering.]}

Awuhh.

_{[They're good BUT HIS MOUTH IS SO COLD IT BURNS]}

Good, goooood. That's better than some old sofa, huh?

_{[He can't really answer with his mouth that full to begin with, but he's quickly starting to realize that putting so many in there was A Mistake (tm).]

[He gurgles.]}

_{[Henry is about to relax when he notices that's...not exactly...a thrilled gurgle. He sits back up.]}

Wrath, are you okay?

_{[Is Wrath ever okay.]

[Slowly, he tips over.]}

_{[....oh god.]

[OH GOD.]

[HE'S DYING!]

[Henry leaps to his feet and his his quiet Henry voice he starts calling for help.]}

Envy? Lust? Wrath is--has rabies I think.

_{[No one is coming. Henry is too soft.]

[On the bright side, when he turns around, Wrath has seemingly recovered from his mint paralysis.]

[On the not-so-bright side, in the span of time that Henry had spent standing up, Wrath had also stolen his spot, loafed there, and is staring up at him as though nothing happened at all.]}

I don't have ray bees.

I don't have any bees.

_{[Henry whirls on one foot as Wrath takes over his place. He's no longer gurgling or otherwise displaying signs of impending death.]

[...THE LITTLE RAT. Henry clenches his fists. This was his plan all along!]}

Yeah well...keep it that way.

_{[Excuse him as he retreats into the Ogre Hut in defeat.]}

[Envy sneakily fled the house this morning the moment he realized what was probably going on. Which is to say, something he absolutely did not want to deal with with a certain someone IN said house.]

[But sometime in the early afternoon, he sneaks his way back. Both because he didn't have any cash for food and, more importantly, because the house is FULL of secretive, sneaky people who might also have had his same idea, and one of their housemates has a broken foot.]

[He'll risk Deep, Truthful Conversations to make sure that his friend hasn't been abandoned to his own devices. He's still pretty furtive as he comes in...through the office window. Heather's not as likely to be in there! And it's separate enough from the living room that he has some chance at sneaking.]

Henry?

Edited 2016-01-30 06:59 (UTC)

_{[Not separate enough.]

[Henry is hanging out in the office today because it's got that window and he's been practicing with his crutches now that ti's been a few weeks. So he sits there, seated in a swivel chair with a photograph clutched close to his chest, watching his octopus-headed friend Mission Impossible his way into the house.]}

...Yeah?

[He nearly falls the rest of the way through the window when Henry suddenly speaks up from a lot closer than he'd been expecting. Luckily for his head, he manages to catch himself in time--with a little bit of silly-looking rebalancing. And, as they have all day, words just sort of come out of his mouth without any real control over what he's saying.]

I was just coming to check on you, I didn't know if anyone else stayed in the house. You need anything? What's that picture?

[He finally gets inside all the way and stands up with a sigh.]

I don't think I like today's thing at all.

_{[Henry just watches this, unjudging. It's a Tuesday.]}

I'm fine. Thank you. I just wanted a break from the Pokemon. They think I'm part of the couch now.

_{[And then Envy asks a question. Henry had planned on going back to looking at his photo and feeling weird but suddenly something like a rush hits him.]}

It's a photo of my neighbor back home, I worry about her ever day.

_{[He snaps his jaws shut and his face says it all: Uh Oh.]}

[Envy's about to take Henry's word for it--he has been getting around pretty well on those crutches, after all--and just go to the kitchen to get some lunch or something, but then...]

[He can't help it. He's curious, and the thought pops into his head immediately.]

What? Why? Did something happen to her?

[SORRY HENRY this is happening now, neither of them can stop it.]

_{[Henry looks up at Envy the way a kid looks at a teacher when they've been called on to recite everything that's been said that lesson as proof that they have not, in fact, been asleep.]}

Everything happened to her.

Edited 2016-01-31 09:17 (UTC)

[Oh. Ooooh no, he probably shouldn't keep asking--]

Was it to do with the wheelchairs and that serial killer?

[HE GIVES HENRY THE MOST APOLOGETIC LOOK HE CAN.]

_{[Henry just kept looking at Envy and getting sadder and sadder and though he can't stop talking, his voice gets smaller.]}

Yes. She was part of the ritual. He was obsessed with her. He wanted her to be his new mother...somehow along side my apartment who he also thought was his mother. It's all hard for me to understand but with all the weird openings and flesh that I had to navigate, I don't think I want to.

She's still there. She went...somewhere before I jumped down that hole. She was acting strangely. I think she felt sorry for Walter, even after everything he'd done. She's that kind of person.

[Slowly, Envy walks over to stand by that swivel chair instead of standing halfway across the room. He didn't mean to set off this upsetting conversation, but he DID and now he can't just run off and leave his upset friend to deal with it.]

Your world doesn't make any sense--I mean, damn it, why can't I stop talking?

Hey, don't--I mean, time stops when we come here, right? She wouldn't be...in more trouble with you here. Right?

It used to. But then a bunch of people had to go and mess with the devil.

_{[He rubs his thumb alongside the photo. It's so weird that it's a Polaroid. It looks like something he might have taken. In the photo, Elieen isn't injured. No blood. No cast. No bandaged eye. She's smiling in that patient way.]}

No, but...if I go back, I have a job to do. And I don't think I can do it.

What's the job?

[He bites his tongue, and says more quietly as he looks down at the photo.]

You don't need to tell me if you don't want. What's her name?

I have to kill a serial killer's ghost before he can summon Satan. And if that fails, kill Satan myself, I guess.

_{[He sinks further down in his seat.]}

Eileen.

[Envy lets out a long 'ffffff' sounding breath. That was a hell of a thing. But...]

I think you can do it.

[He's not saying it just because he's trying to reassure his friend with empty words. He really means it, it's what came into his head and then out of his mouth. He decides to keep going.]

I mean, I've seen you when you want to fight something. And that's never even been anything big.

And this Eileen girl...you care about her. People--they fight better for the ones they care about. I've seen it a million times.

_{[Henry grows very still before looking up at his friend with wide eyes. For a long moment he just stares before his expression softens into something just this side of bashful.]

[It felt nice to know that Envy was probably suffering the same affliction as him. And thus telling the truth. He always feels like the one who's had the least adventures even though he has LEGIT TRAVERSED MULTIPLE HELLWORLDS. It's a strange feeling.]}

I hope you're right...she doesn't deserve to be there. She should be here. I'm the Receiver of Wisdom. I'm the last part of the ritual.

[It's one of those Strange Fridays. Sometimes they strike, sometimes they don't. Lust never knows until halfway through the morning.]

[At least today is only mildly embarrassing, and doesn't come with spilling closely held thoughts or feelings. At least verbally. Still. She isn't one given to displays of affection, and certainly not to just anyone she happens to have friendly feelings towards.]

[Except today she is. Which is why she can't restrain herself when she notices Henry on the couch, staring at the television. It's a very familiar sight. Henry, odd quiet human that he is, is a part of this household. And there's that Feeling. She lets out a small squeak and then she's leaning over the back of the couch, hands on Henry's shoulders, smacking an audible kiss to his slightly rough cheek.]

_{[Henry Townshend, who is minding his own goddamn business, doesn't know what hit him. He's used to Pokemon popping up to give him kisses. They have a whole hoard of cuddly eevees that just mill around the house. But when THE HAIR MONSTER obscures his vision, Henry makes a noise.]

[His first instinct is to plant his hand firmly against her face and shove her away.]}

[It's not the reaction Lust's expecting. Instinct kicks in and she shoves Henry back in turn, fingers hooked into claws that do absolutely nothing, squawking indignantly. She'd given him a kiss! She hardly gave anyone kisses, even Scar! And he pushed her in the face!]

I was only being nice!

_{[For a long moment Henry just stays in his half recoiled pose, frozen, his hands also held up and fingers curled into claws.]

[Finally he remembers the English language.]}

I thought you were someone else.

Are you expecting many assassins to be dropping by?

[Lust adjusts her hair and drops her hands, still looking affronted. Who could he have possibly thought she was?]

_{[Henry doesn't drop his defensive pose just yet. He's still working on coming back from flashback land.]}

Assassins...?

_{[Well, it made sense. Slowly his elbows thaw back out and he sinks back against the sofa. But still leans away from her because What The Fuck.]}

No. Someone from home. She has--had. Long hair just like yours. And tried very hard to strangle me with it. Not in a romantic way.

Oh.

[Well. That explains a few things, really. And not just about Henry's sudden reaction to her unexpected affection.]

I wasn't trying to strangle you, I just...wanted to give you a kiss.

[The last bit comes out a mumble.]

_{[Henry's still leanin'.]}

Does Scar know about this? This is...very sudden.

Not like that!

[Lust rolls her eyes.]

I'm just...affectionate today. It's one of those days. You're...part of this household. You're...familiar. I would notice your absence. I...wanted to express that. In a specific way. Because at the end of the week some new poison is pumped into the water or some such.

O-oh! That's--oh. Okay.

_{[He heaves a sigh of relief and finally stops leaning away from her like he's trying to avoid the flu. Henry's already got a broken foot. He doesn't want to know what else Scar would break. Then he can't help but look sort of bashful.]}

That's good to know. I would miss you too.

Good god, what sort of woman do you think I am?

[The idea that she'd be kissing him in any context other than a friendly expression of platonic affection seems practically ludicrous to Lust. She's relatively certain if she tried, Henry's brain would overheat and leak out his ears.]

Yes. Well. It's been a year.

[She clears her throat, uncomfortable expressing emotions to Henry still.]

_{[Henry goes right back to looking startled.]}

I don't know! We've never even hugged before! The only person who's kissed me since college is...well, Cujo.

_{[And Cujo was a skank he kissed errybody.]}

I'm sorry I insulted you...why don't we...here.

_{[He held out a hand.]}

Friends start out this way a lot of the time.

Edited 2016-02-21 23:48 (UTC)

It's...just one of those days. I don't usually do that sort of thing.

[And Henry's one of the last people she'd kiss. Really.]

No, you didn't insult me. Just...surprised me, I suppose.

[She eyes his hand and after a moment takes it. This is somehow more awkward.]

_{[His handshake is a little stronger than you'd expect and he does his best to shake her hand like he means it.]}

Nice to meet you.

We've already met, Henry. I even use your proper name now.

[But there's a light note in Lust's voice, when she alludes to the shaky beginning to their relationship. She shakes back hesitantly, simply unfamiliar with the gesture. She isn't one to shake hands, never offers her own at a first meeting.]

But...the gesture is appreciated.

I know. I just thought we could make it official. I guess.

_{[And suddenly without warning The Compulsion that Lust has been suffering from overtakes him and he dips down to kiss the top of her hand ever so lightly.]

[Then he recoils and makes a face that suggests she tastes bad.]}

I didn't mean to do that!

Oh!

[It isn't the first time Lust's had her hand kissed, but it's such a rarity that it may as well be. Not to mention that it's Henry who's just so charmingly done it.]

[She's too startled to be offended by the face he makes.]

Yes, well. It's that sort of day. It was only my hand.

_{[Meanwhile, Henry is still short-circuiting. Oh God what's going to happen if they order pizza? IS HE GONNA KISS THE PIZZA PERSON NEXT?]}

I'm...going to go to my room now.

_{[Henry stands and instead of going down the hall he drops to his hands and knees and disappears inside the Ogre Hut in the corner. Then he zips the flap shut.]}

Call Henry's Poke"gear!

Hi there! Wanna thread but don't have time/want to set up a whole post for it? Does your character just wanna call and shoot the breeze? LET'S DO IT.Just use the COMMENT and MESSAGE threads below!

[CALLS]

[video 12/25]

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[TEXT MESSAGES]

July 15th at ungodly o'clock

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Hi there! Wanna thread but don't have time/want to set up a whole post for it?
Does your character just wanna call and shoot the breeze? LET'S DO IT.
Just use the COMMENT and MESSAGE threads below!