no_ufo_ending | Room 038 [Video] (Backdated to PSYCH-UP FRIDAY)

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Room 038 [Video] (Backdated to PSYCH-UP FRIDAY)

_{[The feed flickers on and the camera shakes wildly before it rounds on a shirtless and wide-eyed Henry Townshend. The only thing behind him is an abundance of evening sky. He is on the roof.]}

I'm going to do it. I'm finally going to do it, are you ready? I'm gonna catch Fat Stanley.

_{[The camera whips around to show a flock of Pidove foraging peacefully in the neighbor's yard below. Sure enough, one of them is rather fat.]}

He has no idea. He's been evading us for a year he thinks he's so great well he's got another thing coming!

_{[He gingerly puts his 'gear down on the roof and angles it where he thinks the Pidove flock is. Sadly, they're cut off from view. The last thing the camera films is one Henry Townshend running along the edge of the roof full tilt and disappearing over the edge of it with a wild war yell.]

[The feed eventually times out.]

[Any video responses will come the following day.]}

[ACTION FOR SHARKHOUSE the following day.]

_{[Henry sulks on the sofa and frowns blearily at the television. He is full of two different kinds of pain medicine and his foot is in a cast already lovingly decorated with names and messages from his housemates. He did not catch Fat Stanley.]}

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[Hello Henry, here's your best friend leaning over the back of the couch.]

[He's worried and sympathetic about the broken foot of course, but. But.]

[Yesterday sure did happen. There's the hint of a smirk twitching at the corners of his mouth, but other than that he is playing this totally straight.]

Heeey, Henry. You want some breakfast?

I can make you some pancakes.

_{[Henry slowly rolls his eyes up to meet Envy's and gives him the longest, slowest, most unamused blink.]}

[The tiny smirk widens. This is what you get for being friends with this awful, awful man, Henry.]

Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. Pancakes.

I'll go make them right now, it'll be great.

[He turns on one heel and starts heading for the kitchen.]

_{[He grunts and pushes himself up onto one elbow.]}

I don't want pancakes. I don't ever want to see another pancake again. You don't even know how!

_{[There's a yell from the other room.]}

Just don't make any crepes!

[He was about to make another smartass remark to Henry when Heather pops in.]

Hey, shut up! That was once!

_{[Henry's face lights up. That's right! Baby sister is home! He shimmies backward on the sofa a little so that he's propped up on the arm. One side of the kitchen is in sight.]}

Yeah! Maybe you should just make some cereal! You can't burn that!

_{[Henry, this man helped you once when you were eating cereal off the floor with your face.]}

_{[BABY SISTER IS HOME and even with Henry's roof-jumping escapades yesterday, Envy still wears the crown for Biggest Current Fuckup in the house. Also, Envy's fun to tease.]}

Don't burn the cereal, Envy!

[>8[!!!]

[he's feeling so attacked right now you jerks]

[He crosses his arms and huffs before continuing into the kitchen. He'd been mostly joking before but NOW HE'S DOING IT. JUST WATCH.]

I'M MAKING PANCAKES.

[There's some clattering from the invisible side of the kitchen as he starts forcibly getting out bowls and measuring tools.]

Don't do it! Don't go!

_{[He's twisted around about as far as he can without disturbing his foot.]}

I can't walk! If the house burns down, nobody home is strong enough to carry me!

_{[She doesn't bother coming into the room, but her yelling does get louder once she hears Envy banging around.]}

Dozens Dead in House Fire, Local Man Pleads Pancakes!

PAN.

[He bangs a whisk on the counter to make an alarming noise.]

CAKES.

And local girl is discovered to not be able to count!

Don't make too much noise or Lust will HIRE SOMEONE TO PUT YOU TO SLEEP WITH A PINK GODBEAST!

_{[His voice cracks from hollering the entire previous day.]}

_{[Heather's voice is cracking, too, but it's with laughter.]}

Local Man Suspect in Pancake Fire Comes Under Public Scrutiny for Alleged Connections to the Lullaby Assassin!

Edited 2016-01-10 07:40 (UTC)

[Envy is no longer indignant, he's only just barely not laughing himself. He waves the whisk out where Henry will be able to see it.]

Yeah, and Lust plans ahead! You don't know if she's already paid me off in advance!

THE LULLABY ASSASSIN NEVER SLEEPS.

[He lets out a maniacal cackle and the whisk withdraws. There's the noise of the fridge opening and things being taken out. Envy bangs on the counter some more.]

_{[Henry's face warped into a little frown as Envy was no longer being insulted for his cooking abilities.]}

Oh whatever! You can't cook you way out of a wet paper bag!

_{[He turns away and sinks back down onto the sofa.]}

_{[Heather, on the other hand, is still perfectly happy to play along.]}

Lullaby Assassin's Name Confirmed to be 'Really Ironic', News at Eleven.

Yeah, we'll see about that.

[It sounds like he's actually started mixing things together! These cooking noises go on for about a minute, before...]

Oh.

[It's a quiet, kind of alarmed noise. SOMETHING'S GONE TERRIBLY WRONG.]

_{[Something about that little 'Oh' doesn't sound good.]}

Heather! Heather, drag me! Envy's caught something on fire!

_{[Oh. Oh dear.]

[SORRY HENRY if something's really wrong, she doesn't have time to drag you into the kitchen aka THE DANGER ZONE.]

[There's a crash from the other room as Heather scrambles to her feet and then sprints past the couch and into the kitchen.]}

What happened?!

_{[GENUINE ALARM HERE]}

It's not on fire!

[He shouts this indignantly in Henry's direction, but then Heather's already in there to check.]

[The thing he'd been 'oh'-ing about is pretty obvious. He hadn't even gotten to the stove part yet. The ingredients are all still in the mixing bowl, and...well.]

[Envy appears to have made some kind of horrible, flour-y playdoh. Where he was stirring it, it looks remarkably like some kind of blob-monster is rising out of the middle of the stuff and just...not sinking back down. He gives Heather a look of helpless, really kind of embarrassed alarm.]

...it's not supposed to look like that.

_{[Henry watches Heather race by...in the wrong direction. SOME RESCUE. He finally sits up and turns so that his feet are on the floor more or less. Number 21/21 is taking no chances, he is already reaching for his crutch.]}

Heather, don't be a hero!

_{[She looks down at the bowl and the atrocity growing out of it.]

[Then she takes it from him.]

[And turns right around to walk back into the living room.]}

Henry, get a load of this.

Wh--hey!

[Envy comes out of the kitchen after her, even though it's already too late to stop her from showing Henry. He still tries to reach around and grab the bowl back.]

You're awful!

_{[When he sees no smoke trailing from the bowl, he relaxes. And then he grows curious because it's time to play Just How Badly did Envy Fuck Up? You can play along at home!]

[He leans to look into the bowl and a SNORT rips its way out of him. He covers his mouth but it's too late.]}

Oh.

_{[NOPE. Envy's not getting it back. She's not done being awful yet. She leans away from him, holding the bowl out of reach.]}

Now we get to play the 'How did this happen' game.

Henry, how do YOU think this happened?

Not enough water? Too much stirring?

Edited 2016-01-28 01:44 (UTC)

Come onnn.

And what do you mean, too much stirring? How can you stir too much, it's just mixing.

_{[Henry pantomimes adjusting his glasses as he leans closer to inspect the bowl.]}

I think you're missing an egg. Or three.

_{[Heather, in turn, pantomimes holding a microphone out to Envy. Deliberately bumping his chin with her fist in the process to make it even more annoying.]}

ENVY, tell us! Is his guess correct?

Are you, in fact, missing an egg? Or three?

Do you require any help, human???? I'm an expert at bird calls!

_{[ONE DAY LATER.]

[The feed comes from inside a house as Henry slouches miserably on the sofa.]}

I think I've given up on birds.

You can't just quit! Where's your DETERMINATION?

My...determination has flown away. With Fat Stanley.

OH, NO!

DON'T WORRY, HUMAN! I'LL GET IT BACK FOR YOU!

_{[Henry winces and holds up his free hand. While his foot is the only thing that's broken, he did get a pretty good bump on the head.]}

Please, no yelling. I appreciate the effort but. It's going to be okay.

But! Without DETERMINATION, your soul will!

Will what?

Fall apart?

I'm not exactly sure. Human souls are very different from Monster souls!

_{[He tries to give the distressed skeleton a confident smile but it's sort of lopsided because wow painkillers.]}

Don't you worry.

ALL RIGHT, I WON'T THEN!

... Henry, you can't come at a prey animal from above.

[Also Henry you can't fly, but you know this already.]

_{[ONE DAY LATER.]}

I'll keep that in mind. Thank you, Tobias.

_{[It's not you, Tobias, Henry's just salty about all the pancake talk in the house today.]}

You doing okay? I mean, you're alive, but... doing okay?

Well...my foot's broken.

_{[But his pride is FAR more injured.]}

Ouch. How long do you have to stay off of it?

Well, I've got crutches, but they said I should be able to swap to a brace by the end of the month. Or something like that. The details are hazy.

Maybe get someone to write them down. You've got help there, right?

Plenty of it. Maybe too much.

_{[He says that loudly enough for Envy to hear.]}

... They won't leave you alone?

Let's just say their methods are hit-and-miss.

Set up one of your Pokemon as a guard?

That's a good idea...I'll get Al to bring my pack in here the next time I see him. The other pokemon in the house are just excited to see me out in the open. They aren't sure what to think.

_{[He turns his 'gear around to show off a small cluster of curious eevees.]}

... Oh. That's... a lot of Eevees. I just have the one.

Something isn't it? When I had the video game--you know--in the real world, you only got one.

I never played. I knew it existed but I didn't really have money for a GameBoy.

It was alright but...

_{[He pauses and tilts his head to one side, listening.]}

In the game, you could turn the background music off.

... Yeah. I've pretty much gotten used to that by now, though.

So have I, but I'm cursed with knowing what could be.

_{[He makes a weak but dramatic fist and shakes it.]}

If it gets annoying I start playing other music to drown it out. Or start talking with Regal.

That's one fat bird-emon!

Go get him!

[Because Korra's always one to encourage people going for their goals. Even if it's just catching a fat Pokemon. Plus, the guys' excitement is just kind of catching.]

_{[ONE DAY LATER.]}

I didn't get him.

You'll get him next time!

I'm afraid there isn't going to be a next time for a while.

_{[He turns his 'gear around to show off the big honkin' cast on his foot.]}

I don't know what got into my head.

Oof!

[Korra winces in sympathy.]

That's a well earned war wound. And now you've got time to plot! That bird won't stand a chance.

_{[The roof-hopper's reply is sluggish.]}

I think I'm kind of over Fat Stanley. Somebody else can catch him.

Hey, what kind of talk is that? So he got one up on you, so what. You can't let him get away with it!

_{[He groans and flops an arm over his face, angling his gear more at the ceiling than at him.]}

It's not a big deal. Yesterday was...weird.

What do you mean 'weird'?

[A couple of people have mentioned that, but Korra can't see any real evidence of anything weird happening.]

I had so much energy. Everything moved so fast. It's not usually like that.

Did you grab the wrong coffee pot yesterday morning?

Maybe that was it...

_{[He rubs his head.]}

I've never made that many pancakes in my entire life.

Pancakes are great! There's nothing wrong with making a bunch of pancakes.

You don't understand. There wasn't a flat surface downstairs without pancakes on it. I don't even know where I got all the flour.

That's a lot of pancakes!

Is there a Pokemon that can do that to you? Overwhelm you with the need to make a billion pancakes?

I hope not.

_{[He drags his hand down his face.]}

But better pancakes than possessing me to jump off a roof. I've seen possession, it's...not pleasant.

....No.

No it is not.

So you know all about ghosts then...

_{[He moves his hand to give her a commiserating little smile.]}

Uh....not exactly.

But I do know about possession.

I'm sorry that you do.

_{[Whatever she was possessed by, it couldn't have been good.]}

Did you break something?

[She is not even surprised.]

My foot.

Ouch. Need a care package?

_{[THat's...really nice!]}

Well I can't say no.

The lure of gifts, right?

Allergic to anything? I don't want to accidentally make things worse.

haha merry late christmas

dont worry i'll return the favor once I feel well enough to shop

and I don't think so. besides heights.

And yet you got onto the roof for a Pidove?

It is a very very recent allergy.

I can imagine.

It might take a little while for the delivery, so I hope you don't mind waiting a couple days.

I don't mind at all. It's very generous of you and it isn't like I'll be going anywhere.

Alright. Well wishes and all that.

[And true enough, around four days later, a shallow box around a couple feet across and long is delivered. In it is practically a sampling of every bit of Pokemart candy and snack she could find and stuff inside.]

_{[The day after said gift arrives, Red will find an animated greeting card in her inbox. It depicts a happy cartoon Delibird with the words THANK YOU flashing on its tail.]}

[...JIMMY HAS SEVERAL QUESTIONS.

But more importantly:]

Did you catch him?

_{[A day later, you get a very weary response.]}

No. No, I did not.

Awww nuts. Maybe you'll get him next time!

[...it took him a whole day to respond, though, that's a bit concerning...]

...you okay, though?

I'm very medicine--very medicated. I broke my foot.

Ouch. Yeah, I broke my arm once doing something like that...well, I was flying on my Archeops and we sortof crashed into a tree, so that was different.

...what made you wanna jump off the roof like that, anyway?

I'm not...sure. Yesterday was very strange. I didn't feel like myself.

_{[And he hates to admit that it was kind of fun.]}

[...oh no Henry.]

You seemed pretty excited, whatever it was! Maybe you just really thought you had him that time.

Fat Stanley is kind of...I guess it's an in-joke with my friends and I. But I don't think any of us would throw ourselves off a roof over it.

Huh...well, it happens I guess! At least you'll know...not to do that next time?

[Jimmy no that isn't helping.]

_{[It's really not.]}

I'll keep that in mind.

Sounds good! And I hope your foot feels better soon. Broken bones suck.

They do. I can't remember the last time I broke something that wasn't a rib. There isn't much you can do about that.

Oh, you've broken ribs before? That sounds a lot worse than an arm, or a leg...how do you put something like that in a cast?

Haha, you can't. You just have to be very careful and make sure to sleep on your back.

Yikes...Can you still like, walk around and stuff?

With a broken rib? You don't have much choice.

Yeah, I guess that's true. I guess there's worse things to break...like your neck.

[Let's not talk or think about that, though.]

_{[THAT just gets poor Jimmy a Look.]}

...but you didn't! So that's good!

[Jimmy...]

Yeah, uh. I think I should take a nap now. Get my strength back, you know?

Oh, sure thing! Feel better soon, okay?

[Unlike SOME people in this house, Al has decided that having a broken foot is more than enough for Henry to be dealing with right now. Which is why later on in the day Al comes over to the couch with a plate of various kinds of sweets that always seem to be hidden around this house.]

Hey, I got you some snacks. Hungry?

_{[Just when Henry thinks his brains are going to ooze out of his head after having to watch yet another episode of A Talking Pokemon!? Al appears to rescue him.]}

You're a good human being.

_{[He leans up to take a chocolate Pollywag.]}

Eheh, I try!

[Al sets the plate down in easy reach for Henry, then glances at the screen.]

Is there really nothing else on right now?

Nothing that I could find...and I can't reach the DVDs.

_{[He gives Al a pleading look.]}

[Al bites back on another laugh and nods, heading over to the shelves.]

I'll put them in for you. What do you want to watch first?

Hmmm. What about the new one with the Tropius?

Oh, yeah! I haven't actually sat down to watch the whole thing yet. You mind if I join you?

[Al fetches the case down and sets about setting the TV and DVD player up for them.]

No, go right ahead. I could use the company. The Pokemon are great but I had to shoo most of them away after they started stepping all over me.

_{[So many tiny poke'feet shaped bruises.]}

[Al tries not to laugh, but his grin can't be tamed. Settling down on the unoccupied section of the couch, Al picks up the remote again and hits play.]

Yeah, you sit still long enough and they think you're just part of the furniture.

I can't really blame them.

_{[He doesn't do a lot of moving around. While the trailers play, he looks longingly over at the Ogre Hut.]}

Hey. Hey, Al.

[Alphonse looks over, frowning.]

Hm?

Could you bring the Ogre hut over here? I miss being in it. But I can't get off the floor if I sit down.

[...um.]

Will it even fit on the couch?

[He's still getting up to go fetch it, but...]

Of course it will. Trust me.

If you say so...

[Thankfully it's pretty light, if unwieldy, so Al is able to carry it over easily enough. But once he's actually there...]

Uh...hm.

_{[Henry looks up at the hovering Ogre Hut in a daze.]}

Well?

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Room 038 [Video] (Backdated to PSYCH-UP FRIDAY)

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